"Wait"- it was the word that i want to hear -"Stay with me"

I got nervous, these three last words were the brightest of his vocavulary.

I was just spechless, my tears were coming out from my eyes and sliping down at my cheeks. I was keeping to hold the tears as possible. But too late, now i'm crying a loud.

"you don't have to go" - he insisted again as when he used to do that before.

He took my right hand, at the moment, I feel gulty, guilty for knowing that i can't feel this anymore, guilty for still shakeing my body just like a damn coward running away from problems. Guilty for loving him so much even though sometimes i think that he just a silly whim...like the perfect forbidden apple when you are around a thounsand apples that allowed to eat, but oh Hell noo!!, he's not my simple whim, or is he?

He riched out his hand to wipe away my tears...

"Don't cr..."- he was saying but i cut him off.

"No, you don't"- and i got his hand out of me, smootly.

There was a pefect silence between us, my sight was down as though i was looking for something on the floor. I wanted to look at him, but i keep holding.

He bend down his head to top at mine, but  i didn't look at him.

"Hey, sorry for being a jerk all this time and i..."-

"you don't have to apologize"- i said abruptly cutting him off. He stared at me with wide eyes. Oh well i think this is gonna get better.

"Listen"- i said and i took a deep breath before to start. " do you remeber when i told that you're the best and beautiful thing that it had happend in my entired life?"- well my 18 years living, at last,  holy crap!!, Why am i so corny?

"I do"- he said emotionless

" well, that's why i'm leaving"- he was confused." Hey, I just... have to be far away from you, why is so dificult to understand?"- i was a little upset. "you know that I...I.. really do Love you and..."- CORNY CORNY CORNY!

"I love you too"- he said, his eyes were narrowed and he sounded a little bit mad, it was like it i was telling him that he doesn't love me anymore.

" but not in the same way"- i said quickly , he nodded. "don't you see that i want you to be happy?, no matter who you are with"- It doens't really matter.

He didn't talk anything, just stared at me. - "when i fell in love with you...- here i go again-...i really wanted to make you happy, but by MYSELF, not anyone else, but i realized that... i can't be that person."- he bend down his head to shield it.-" I just... can't make you happy"- That's right.

" Hey, it's not your fault..." two tears came out from his eyes. Now i'm getting mad, what the hell is he thinking?, does it really care too much to him?.

"why?"- I said-"you're acting like...- I starting to babble-"... like you can't live without me when we both know that you..." he stoped me by a funny face, he was really upset just like i was.

"I can live without you... - he was thinking the right words to say, then he said it- ...but i don't want to"- he looked at my eyes. I got warm ears now.

 I was so furious i really wanted to take off, but i knew that it would be so inmature. I took another deeply breath, but i could't think anything, why did he say that?!! If he loves him so much, i don't freaky get it, i'm letting him to go with the person that he really loves. Letting him go? Oh come on! You know that you can't say that, you can't "let" or "allow" him to do things. You're not his girlfriend. Even though i want to.

 I'm gong crazy on this. "JESUS CHRIST DANIEL!!!, You don't really need me...

"How do you know?"-  he cut me off, really upset

"ohh c'mon,ok  do you really need me? Well i know how, just as a friend as a sister..- more tears came out so quickly-... i don't know if i should smile because i'm your "friend" or cry because that's all we will be...- then he was crying now.

That's the worst thing that i could see from him, seeing him cry, it makes me feel bad, because i know that i'm so mean with my words, then i was the one who was waping away his tears, when i was touching his cheek, it felt warm, then i started to slip down my fingers until to stop at his lips, i look at them, they were so bautiful so smooth. His expression was so weird like he'd be afraid about what i was going to do. Breathless, that's what i get, just for touching those lips that i want them so bad. I really wanted to kiss him, some people says the forbidden fruit tastes the sweetest, i wanted to figure it out , I haven't kissed him before...then i...

" Don't worry"- i refused-" I won't kiss you"- i said that as i was taking away my fingers from his mouth. He was so confused even worried.-..." i won't do something that you don't want to"

"I...I ..Don't know what to say...Ally"- he was mumbling then I was in his arms holding me so tighly even i can't breath at once, but it felt nice to not breath at all. I don't want to let him go, i don't really want to, but i have to, the gulty thing spread in my system again. No, i can't  be with him, he's not for me!, he loves me just as a sister, he's in love with someone else who is a MEN!, don' get it, oh' C'mon He's GAY!, and you're never gonna...

"Stop it- i said to him as i was trying to get away from him-" Hey listen to me!!, we've been through this before, this is the same DAMN scene!, just think about it, it IS ENOUGH PLEASE!, How many times have you seen this?... Tell me..How ma...-

"Too many, I know, I'm..."- he broke my words.

"how many times have you understood ...me?- I said crying a loud, i can barely speak.

"Not at once"-he was staring the floor now.

"So?...what's the point at this?... i know, you love me as a friend and I love you more than that, and you know that i don't want you to bear with me, not anymore, Oh' PLEASE! We've been on this almost 3 years, this is so... -

"unbelievable, I know but...you're my friend... you can't ask me to replace for someone else..- he said this like almost a whisper...you do know that your friend-ship was the special thing that i have ever had"- do i have to buy this?

" you didn't understand, right?...I can't be your friend- he looked me with wide eyes-...not anymore, i'm sorry".- his hands shield his face, like a child he growled.

"well... I guess this is the last good bye..."- he wanted to finish this discussion now, just like i do.

" I guess so...-I was shaking, he finally gave up, this is really a good bye?, a real good bye? Finally?-...good luck at collage"- i wished him.

"So do you"- oh God!!, this is so freaky hard, i can't hold on, no i can't, then i couldn't resist, i reached out my hands to stand at his,now i was hugging him, then he said...

 "i'm gonna miss you so much...Ally"- i can't get off of him, not because his fault, it was mine. If we will miss us each other, why do we must separate?

"i'm gonna miss you too Dan"- we staring each other.more tears? yes, more hugs? yes, well, it was a really sad night , then we had to go our respective home.

Is this real?... what if I never see him again, what am i going to do without him?...i don't know, but this is a new begining.

 Sometimes Good things starts with a good bye(: